Letter to my younger self.

Dear me from 2005,

Hello. 10 years ago, you were still in your senior high school dreaming to be a successful business women just like your mom. You were dreaming you could be wealthy enough to donate to your school and be somebody. You were telling everyone that you do not need a man to complete your life because you are so good, you can live it your own. Also, your crazy idea of having a child without getting marry scares all these small town people. You were joking like you are going to choose the best quality sperm donor to have baby with. Well, I'm so glad you didn't and you are fucking naive. 

To be honest, now? You are not at your best place. You are struggling to look for a decent job to support yourself. To even be independent. Good news is, you are dating your crush from your primary school. That good looking naughty boy who's always the centre of the attention in school, who's sound like a Donald Duck when he speaks. He is going to be your husband. Who would have thought that, right?

Both of you are so in love, you know it's difficult because you know your mom so well. Some more, he is from the place your mom hated the most. Well, sucks to be him. Still, no fuck is given because you believe that time will prove everything and love can conquer the coldest heart. I don't want to be mean, but. It really takes time, and you gotta deal with a lot more bullshit. Seriously, I didn't know it will be that difficult. You love him so much till you fucking want to kill him for being so blunt(?) I don't know what's the word to describe. 

Anyways, I'm glad that you left Shanghai to Malaysia and choose to leave by yourself with aunty. You are so much better than I thought. I'm glad you are a strict person who take cares of yourself, I mean I'm glad you are not a slut or material girl. I'm glad you are the most cheerful person and bringing all these positive vibes to people around you. 

Even though now you are dealing with problems of your own wedding. You are kinda backing up, but don't be afraid of the future because nothing is going to stop you to be the best. Trust him, trust yourself. 

Love,

Me from 2015

Year 2015

On November, I finished the grading courses and I'm a certified gemologist. Happily coming back because I can finally work for real for real. 

On December, I interviewed for a gemologist job which didn't last for 3 months. Shame on me. I am embarrass because I was a little high expectation about myself and the job but that's it.

Little munchkin just nap like that. He changes so much about his personality, now he is a sticky little monster. Lol

Time flies to March 2015, we were planning on things, but things are not exactly going the way we wanted. So, plan B is up. This plan B is the original plan of mine which doesn't supported by John at first, now I guess he is take it into consideration. Hahahaha. I guess my thinking too much sometimes is good.