What?!

Yes, the title is nothing. No, nothing special happen except my tummy is growling at this hour. John has been expecting my post for days. I have been looking for school and busy applying in the same time. Looking for the perfect person to write me a reference letter for me to apply to the dream school. I wanted to go to USA badly. Sudden thoughts though, cause I see everyone around me having a good result of their own life but I'm not yet achieve anything. That's driving me insane. Yes, fight with mom as usual. I don't know what's going on with me cause I seems to loose my patient on her. I always the patient one and bare with everything. I am curious about myself. 

Been hanging out with John's family recently and yes, I think I kinda find the new me. I told his sister that I wanted to have a pet, but then, I'm not really want to want it cause I don't want to settle down yet. Yes, I want to have a family but no, I'm not ready yet. These kind of questions are all over me now and it's funny cause I'm not really the one who should think about all these. I always know that the settle down kind of topic is the topic that John trying to avoid. I know. And yet I purposely talk about this topic every time just to see his reaction. From his reaction, I can feel something, something that I don't really like but force to accept. 

Anyways, the school searching and applying is making me very nervous. I wanted to get in ASAP. Well, I thought I'm okay to study anywhere in USA with any subject that related to fashion but I was wrong. I thought that I just want to escape from the old place. But I was god damn it wrong. I want to go to my favorite place and study what I like. My final decision is FIDM, it's just the location matter. It's either Orange County, Los Angeles or Hollywood. Well, my choice is Los Angeles, but the parents want me to pick Orange County cause it's nearer from home. I hope everything goes well. I'm preparing all the documents and portfolio and going to send out soon. Please let me get the visa and leave!!!

Oh Hi November!

不知不觉，毕业了一个多月。学校的事情还在处理。心里还是三心两意，拿不定主意。亲爱的J先生对于我的这种态度很不满。他说，我过于关心别的事物忽略了自己。是吗？是吧。

I always wanted to go to USA. No matter what I do, I wanted to live there for a little while. I guess, no matter how much I consider, I will always choose to go USA. Mom was pissed that I told her I might want to stay back here to study. Well, the boyfie's family was quite positive about me staying back, but to be honest, I really want to go out and see the world. I'm really glad that John is the supportive one and care about my future. Yes, there's a lot of time that we will missed out, I especially hate the moment like John got into an accident but I'm not with him. This kills me. I wanted to be by his side, but this is what we need to face right now, isn't it? 

Today I went to have dinner with John's family. Well, it's not really good. Food were too spicy and I can't take it. Smell really bad on us after the meal and then the car smell bad also. Luckily I had some fruits before I came out to meet them. It was a pleasant night. Went back to John's house and chat with his sister. Well, gossip a little bit. We kept the tone low, but somehow at the end we doesn't care about if others can hear us anymore. Just talk and laugh out loud. I know gossipping is not a good behaviour, I'm trying to make it as less as possible. But sometimes, I couldn't help but talk about it. Yes, it's not a good thing to do to throw our negative energy to our listeners, try to control the tone next time. LOL.

I miss John a lot. Sometimes I will post some emo post on Facebook, and somehow he will think that I'm talking about him. But sometimes, these kind of posts are just the things I want to share, not specifically talking about him. On October, we had great moments. I came back from Taiwan on 10 Oct and he brought me a lot of memorable moment. I'm glad that we can go through all of these moments together. You mean the most to me. I'm not a patient person, I am bad tempered and will make a huge explosion when I'm pissed off. I am sensitive (but compare to you I'm less sensitive), I love my family (just like you) maybe I'm a little over protective towards my mom or whatever you name me. The [MOM] thing is always our topic to fight. But, hmmm.. I guess we have to step back and calm down a little bit. Ok, I'm not exactly the good girlfriend but thank you for always being there for me. I'm glad that I can always have a good time with your family and I'm so thankful that we have such a great relationship among each others. 

All I want to say is, nobody is perfect. Take it or leave it.

Accident

So, I'm gonna blog now out of boredom while waiting for friends at dinner. She got a meeting and delayed for the meet up time with me.

Mr J got into an accident. I think I'm a little bit overreact but I'm really freaked out. Luckily everything is ok at least he is safe. I'm so glad that he called immediately when he had settle down. Seriously, things like this really freaks me out. Today is our 22nd months being together. I remember when we are going through our 4th or 5th months he got into an accident too. Damn!! He makes me worry. Is not his skill is bad but the people there drive like nobody business. Crazy driver. Mr J said no cursing after I curse like no tomorrow on Facebook. He said what comes around goes around. He handle stuff like this matured than me I have to admit.

I miss him so much now. The dinner haven't start. I've been waiting over an hour now.

Taiwan Day 5

Woke up and went to the Osteopathy to fix our body. It's pain but it's good. After this session, we went to the Korean restaurant which taste like ewww... for me. I don't like it. John said I am a very picky person. Well, if you compare with the Malaysia's Korean food you know why I'm so picky. 

We went to look for soup dumplings. It was superb! Just right after the Korean food we went for this. Yes, I didn't eat the whole plate of black weird noodles. I'm sorry, it's just tasteless. But the dumplings was so freaking nice!!! I want to have it now.

No, we didn't went to Chador right after the soup dumpling. We are not cow. We went to shop for the gadget thingy. Walked for few hours and then only drop by here. Weird stuff happens in Taiwan, they will need the customer to spend the minimum rate in order to dine in. 

There was a funny incident happened on this day. When I was resting in the room, I switch the channel the beginning and suddenly I discovered the porn channel. Seriously, then John told me there's a lot of people came to this hotel to 'get a room!'. LOL. Immediately I thought it was reasonable why there porn channel. We kinda watched it a little while and giving comments about the sequence, movement and story line. LOL. It was so funny and then we went out for dinner. LOL.