What?!

Yes, the title is nothing. No, nothing special happen except my tummy is growling at this hour. John has been expecting my post for days. I have been looking for school and busy applying in the same time. Looking for the perfect person to write me a reference letter for me to apply to the dream school. I wanted to go to USA badly. Sudden thoughts though, cause I see everyone around me having a good result of their own life but I'm not yet achieve anything. That's driving me insane. Yes, fight with mom as usual. I don't know what's going on with me cause I seems to loose my patient on her. I always the patient one and bare with everything. I am curious about myself. 

Been hanging out with John's family recently and yes, I think I kinda find the new me. I told his sister that I wanted to have a pet, but then, I'm not really want to want it cause I don't want to settle down yet. Yes, I want to have a family but no, I'm not ready yet. These kind of questions are all over me now and it's funny cause I'm not really the one who should think about all these. I always know that the settle down kind of topic is the topic that John trying to avoid. I know. And yet I purposely talk about this topic every time just to see his reaction. From his reaction, I can feel something, something that I don't really like but force to accept. 

Anyways, the school searching and applying is making me very nervous. I wanted to get in ASAP. Well, I thought I'm okay to study anywhere in USA with any subject that related to fashion but I was wrong. I thought that I just want to escape from the old place. But I was god damn it wrong. I want to go to my favorite place and study what I like. My final decision is FIDM, it's just the location matter. It's either Orange County, Los Angeles or Hollywood. Well, my choice is Los Angeles, but the parents want me to pick Orange County cause it's nearer from home. I hope everything goes well. I'm preparing all the documents and portfolio and going to send out soon. Please let me get the visa and leave!!!