变了？

一开始她很生气他。因为他答应了的事都忘了。经过这几天，她觉得她不想再这样了。这样的生活好累。他就是他，除非他愿意，要不然任何人都没资格要求他为谁改变。当初她爱上的就是原来的那个他。只是两个人在一起的时间长了所以比较仔细的事情都懒得去做了。她其实是个醋桶，她对他身边的异性很敏感。偶尔她会表现出不满，他也很容易发现她的不妥。就是因为在乎，所以他才会保持距离。其实还有什么不满的呢？他很好！除了偶尔神经大条，其他的都很不错了！很少男生会做到这种程度了。她应该满足了！！

好累！该睡了！这两天竟然没有动过我的苹果电脑！真难得！

爱情

年少的爱轰轰烈烈、至死不渝、非君不嫁，非卿不娶！眼里只有彼此，其他人都不重要；不论支持或反对。

步入社会了，开始对另一半有要求了。在意别人的目光了。不是结婚了就是分开了。

婚后，要为材米油盐酱醋茶努力。要为组织家庭奋斗。要嘛甜甜蜜蜜、要嘛冷冷淡淡、要嘛分道扬镳！

对我而言，一旦爱上了就要全心全意。如果不能认真那就单身，何必耽误别人的时间？我很渴望被爱。很希望自己拥有一个家，属于自己完整的家。所以我很投入每段恋情，爱着那个我认为值得爱的人。被我爱的人通常压力都蛮大的。因为我的家庭背景的关系，也因为我需要被重视。被伤害过后，一度不想要恋爱。可是我又再一次恋上了。每一段恋情中，学会了不同的道理，领悟了不少。

他很爱她。她感觉得到。他很体贴很溺爱她。她总是欺负他，对他无理取闹，他顶多就是不理她也不会跟她吵架。他从来不曾对她发脾气，也只有那么一次。后来他内疚得半死，应该是这样吧。不过guy being a guy，他忘了她在等他一封简讯、一通电话。他总是忘了要跟她报平安。她生气了，非常生气。不过，不管她多么的生气，只要他道歉她就会选择原谅，一笔勾销。所以同样的事情可以一直重演，他道歉她原谅。可是，如果有一天她真的不包容了呢？每次这样她觉得很累。她不想每次为了他拿着手机寸步不离。他不知道她有多么地在意他。他不知道其实她最不想离开他。她为了不让家人看不起，为了不让家人认为是他让她不想到国外生活，她说服自己一定可以。即使他说如果到时候真的维持不下去了那就当朋友好了，她也强颜欢笑说‘我也是这么想的！’。天知道她的心都撕裂了。他不知道她在意他的程度。她总觉得他变了，变得不再那么重视她了。她感觉到只要他是一个人的时候，她对他而言就很重要。但是，只要他身边有朋友家人的时候，她就是可有可无的了，出不出现都无所谓。或许他没有发觉到，可是她也懒得去说什么也不解释了。因为不管怎么说，他都会说是她想太多。他总是笑她傻，她是傻，很傻。傻得全情投入，也不想想他领不领情。她的脾气很暴躁，他一路都很容忍。如果有一天他再也不忍了呢？戏还唱得下去吗？她很爱他，很喜欢在他家跟他的家人相处。她为他感到难过，因为在她家，他得不到认同。这样的爱走得下去吗？他一直是她崇拜的对象。她很仰慕他，很爱静静的看着他。她傻得害怕会忘了他所以要一直看着他记着他的笑容他的味道。难道他感觉不到她害怕失去他？即使再怎么期待可以出国，她还是希望能留在他的身边。这段恋情完全是靠着网路在维持，她和他都习惯了。如果有一天，两个人都不需要再用网路了呢？她计划将来，将来都有他。可是，他只是笑笑说一切都太早。是啊！太早了。到时候在再说吧。只是希望到时候的他还是那个他。

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

好累！睡吧。

Thought I'm being clear last night. I said we need quality time to spend together, only two of us. No someone else. Sigh.

我是真的无所谓了。

It's been a while I didn't write. Work is driving me crazy. But I'm glad that I've gone through that much. It's not easy and I feel like shouting and do something crazy sometimes. I came to Starbucks a lot. Almost everyday if I'm going to work with the public transport. Work is great but I'm too lazy to handle it good. Hahah. Maybe because I'm an intern that's why. But somehow I get paid in a good amount. Unexpectedly. Well, parents don't like my job. Dad wants me to stop immediately but I told him that one month left only. I know whats his concern. I want to stop too! I want to continue study and go New York only start working. I purposely look for the subject which doesn't have internship in New York. Haha. I just don't want to work.

Fight. Drama. Why not? It's part if our life!

Never fight like this before. Deep down inside I am hurting. We both have our own perspective but we both wanting each other to understand the situation. I'm not happy, I'm upset. Why would you want to say "nothing" when I ask you who are you going out with? This makes me upset the most. I knew exactly who you want to go out with when you said nothing. It's definitely a she. Remain silent doesn't means I don't know. Sigh. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I will understand your situation from now on. No more drama for this. But someday you will understand my situation as well. I promise you.

Yesterday was leap year. It was our 14th monthiversary as well. I just remember. I love you. I might be the one who always bully you but I might also be the one who love you the most don't you think so?

Been working since 13 Feb, although its an internship but I'm working like a cow. Lots of stuff to do and learn in the same time. In the office.. I mean after I start this job, 24 hours seems like not enough for me. I need more time cause everything seems like never end. After working for so long, I realize how naive I can be. I thought I could manage to play around with the people, but somehow I'm still very green. I almost blew up myself today and luckily I got one of my colleague to cover my back. Though, don't believe in people 100% because you never know what will they do behind your back. I appreciate her help and I will learned my lesson. Tell/ show the boss what they want to see/know. Don't tell everything when you still can handle the situation. Sigh. After tonight after work after the fight, I really think today is the good day to die. How I wish I could press the restart button of my life now.

Good night.