H vs J and Mama H

So, today it's my mom's birthday. On this day I quarrel with John because of some stuff. It was a very hard day for me as I felt a lot of stress and upset and really tired. Then my mom came back from work, I don't feel like talking as what happen earlier. Yes I admit I shouldn't be like that but seriously I just want to be quiet and don't want to talk. So, with my facial expression, my mom said I can leave if I want to show the shit face. Without second thought I left. I bang the door as hard as I can and I can feel the wall cracked. I know, i feel lucky cause I didn't go Muay Thai if not I think the whole house is done. I cried for half the day, upset with both of them and in the end I'm the one who suffer. I didn't eat anything for the whole day. Cried on bed until I fell asleep and throw up for several times. Now 3:12am I'm wide awake and still throwing up.

John is leaving to his grandma's and back on Friday. I miss him a lot but somehow he manage to pissed me off like I'm getting heart attack and stroke. My eyes are sore and swollen, my head is going to blow up, I'm thirsty but if I drink water I sure will throw up, I want to sleep but I can't. I swear I'm not going to cry like how I did earlier. I cant take it anymore. :(