There are a lot of things that's not the same with what you expect. Like I've expect it will be a very nice holiday. But it is not. I've been enduring and trying to understanding. I don't feel happy with it. Is this the life when he finally gets back? It's totally not the same when he's not here. I've been very selfish and wanting him to be all mine all the time. The fact is, he's not belong to only me. Cause he loves his family and friends. He couldn't live without them, but I'm okay to be with or without. This is what I've figure out within these 2 days. Fast huh? I know. Everything is in my mind working and working when I was driving and waiting. Hate the fact but I couldn't deny it, because there's no way I could hide from. Been stupid once and I'm not going to do it twice. Or maybe I should change my attitude towards stuff. Don't take it too seriously? But I am serious towards stuff. It is really bothering.

John, a letter for you.