About Time

All of the sudden, I felt funny about all these incidents. I literally let everything happens which is not like a normal me. Pick a fight? Mess with people's life? I normally ignored but I responded. Think back, it's not really a big deal to talk or waste my time dealing with it. Maybe that time I was not at the stage I'm standing right now. I see things clearer now and it really doesn't worth it. So what if I knew how the true color are, it's not necessary to expose to the world because everyone will know eventually. It's the timing, the longer it takes the more we can see and we can now see what had happen and no one is happy with it. No matter how stupid a person is, they will grow up one day and figure out whatever they've did is ridiculous and make people shake their head. They should be ashame of themselves. 

Peace out.

End Of The Study?

After a year spending time in Sydney Australia, I am so done with study. Everything happen in a year. Seriously, everything. Besides school life, I had a couple of trips happening during that time. Went to Brisbane with the Chua's. Came back to Malaysia for 3 times during the study going on, learned the barista skill, worked in a café. Going through a break up, family and friend visited. Oh lets not forget the unnecessary fight, LOL. Wasted time and energy and not even making it better. Lets not even waste time on writing it here.

The study experience:

So far, Sydney Raffles is so much better than Sydney KL. This is undeniable. The courses, assignment and excursion we had done was amazing and helpful except the money we need to spend on our final major project. English is a problem despite I wasn't the worst user, but I was having trouble on assignment. Quoting the lecturer 'baby language'. 

The living experience:

I am the luckiest person in the world. Mom and dad allows me to stay in the most exclusive apartment in Sydney, having the most convenient facility for me. I owned the one bedroom one bathroom unit which also had a huge living room and kitchen. Lots of café visit during the stay, event, and shopping. 

The social experience:

Get to meet with all these awesome people in life and became best friend. The thing is made friend with a sincere heart is very important instead of talking behind their back. We stood up for each other not stabbing each other. There's a difference. Went to a few event with them, like the Halloween party, Café opening, Neon Running event, Casino, and etc. That's a very good experience. Relatives were saying I'm living my life back in Sydney, always see me having fun, eating good food and having good company. 

After all the major project drama finished, I flew to US for Grandma's memorial/family trip. Before this, mom suggested me to take one more course in Taiwan, because I was telling her I don't want to work until next year. LOL. So, I'm in Taiwan now writing this. Living my life with the boyfriend. Anyways, he passed the first obstacle already. Meeting my family in Taiwan. LOL. We are going to have the travelling wedding talk soon!!!

Annoyed.

自我感觉良好的人是不是都有被害妄想症？好像所有话题都跟他有关每个人都在说他？是不是每句都戳中要点，所以可以回应的那么自如好像练习过一样。我又有何德何能去关心一个这样对我的人？我不是我爸，那么大方。对陷害他的人还可以那么大方。如果不是身有屎为什么反应会这样？现在问题制造者比任何人都还无辜。什么叫做躺着也中枪？还有比这句形容词还贴切的吗？我的家事干你什么事？我在发泄我家的事你来回应什么？还那么大言不惭说的动听。真的每个人都那么关注你？如果我在意你说的话，有心要回你会等到这一天？

Done With Raffles!

Presentation day. It was really nerve wrecking. I'm glad that everything is done! All the hard work, sleepless night, stress, complaints are all done! I'm so happy that I'm the first one who did this. 

Then we had the celebration on the second day. That's the day when everyone finish everything. The feeling was so awesome! 

Then I celebrate with my halal gang at Paparich. Hahaha!

And on the same day I had my celebration with my Indo gang.

Oh this is on the day I'm flying. Hahaha. Cuteness overload!

Overall, I'm so happy with my life in Raffles Sydney. I met a lot of wonderful people even though we only get close right at the very end of our study life. But it's better than nothing. Isn't it? I'm so happy I met all these amazing friends, some are from my home country who is my seniors and some are from Sydney. Fate is a very strange thing. Without these people, I think my Sydney life will be different. I'm so glad that I have you all. 

I love my life in Sydney KL as well. I learned a lot from there and I experience a lot from there. That's the place that taught me not to believe in someone 100%. That's the place that told me not to be stupid offering people your help while they are only taking you for granted and then talking behind your back. But I am still very lucky because among all these bullshit I had, I make true friends still. Even though they are all busy with their life right now, we know we still care.  

Life in Sydney is the life I will never forget. Despite this is the first country I stayed during my study life. But I guess no more study for me. I'm so tired and exhausted with studies. I need to work and save up money. John and I have plan. HAHAHAH. It will be amazing!

我们

什么时候我们可以真正这样生活不用再分开？短暂的相处长期的分开快3年了应该也够了吧？祝全天下远距离恋爱的情侣们终成眷属。这是个长期奋战！

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感触

在外那么久，原来自己的情绪还是很难控制。看着别人掉泪，自己也会忍不住哽咽。 明明就事不关己。或许看到事情发生在别人身上，难以控制的想，如果事情发生在我身上我该怎么办？平时很少沟通的同学最近都走得比较近。因为大家要毕业了，所以都约了出来一起努力为彼此加油。当中知道一位朋友的母亲在她12岁的时候癌症过世。一位朋友的母亲在她很小的时候就离开家里跟别人生活。

我在想，如果是我，我会怎么办？没了我妈我该怎么办？虽说她对我严格，偶尔不可理喻。可是没有她，我能有现在的一切吗？当中还要经历一再被背叛，无能为力探视自己孩子的感觉。一个女人带着三个小孩经历这么多，我可以忍心放开她吗？中国人有一句话叫饮水思源。受过任何人的恩惠就要感恩而不是当成理所当然的。我爱她，就算她再让我难受，我还是会选择保护她的感受。只要过了她这关，我会很感激很感恩加倍奉还。

还有爸爸，虽然我们不是亲骨肉。他依然视我们如己出，把我们都宠上天。他在我的生命里扮演者不可缺少的角色。他总是在背后默默支持我，鼓励我。当我需要意见，他都会引导我。用他的经历引导我，让我步入轨道避开没必要的钉子。那时的我，总是觉得我不碰钉子我不知道痛。不要保护我不让我去尝试。他们知道，有些钉子碰了或许自己就会后悔一辈子，或许会走不出来。所以拼了命都不让我去碰，用“断粮”来逼我妥协。而我真的妥协。因为自己无能咩！ 能怎样？心里知道他们的好意，可是嘴巴却很贱说他们只能用这种方式让我们就范。很多人不懂，觉得我很傻。我知道，可是外人没办法体会我所体会。是谁在我无助的时候拉我一把？是谁把我妈和兄弟带入更好的环境，过我们从来不敢奢望的日子？是谁不怕辛苦，只要有机会就会从芙蓉来到吧生去见我们一个小时？如果这一切的一切可以因为一句话就抵消掉，我不愿意。外人看我是愚孝，而我从来都不觉得我可以把他们为我付出的一切还清。我只能更努力的去爱他们，早日让他们享福。

不好意思，最近情绪波动很厉害。她和他都他很好。我们没吵架。没有为了任何人跟任何人吵。只是觉得很感触。