Anniversary

I wrote this on 27 Dec. The night I did something stupid. It's not even our anniversary. But this is how I felt before it.
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Maybe I need some time to be alone... WHAT AM I SAYING? I AM ALONE ALL THE TIME!

Sleepless. Following Dream?

Sleepless night I guess. I was sleeping, and some sound woke me up. It's really annoying but I can't get back to sleep already. My mind is full of study abroad stuff. New York, new life, being apart again, all alone and stuff like that. It's not like I'm leaving next month. This is just a plan that I really want it to happen, I don't care how much I need to sacrifice. I never hesitate and I am willing to give up something that most of my close friends and even my own mother would never expect. I thought it was the assignment that keeps my mind running, but honestly, is it true that I am worry that much about the assignment? The fact is I have been thinking too much. I've been imagining what is going to happen next, it's not the assignment, the assignment is not the issue. Maybe I am hungry at this hour, I couldn't stand the emptiness in my stomach that making sound to wake me up. Really?! 

I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up everything I have in here now. I am so happy but I feel so unbalance in the same time cause I wanted, always wanted to live/study at the other country to gain experience. I have someone I'm so in love with who's studying at Taiwan and might continue study there for another 2 and a half years. I don't have plan B, I only have plan A, that is finish school at Malaysia, fly to New York and continue. I never thought what if it don't work out. Until now only I think of it. Yea, what if the plan is not going to work? This is like a myth now. WTF?! It's like never gonna get the answer until it happens. FML! I guess I'm not going to sleep any sooner. Sigh. 

Letter For Mr. John

♥




So, today was family day except we have to bring an outsider to join us. I never want him to be in the gathering but too bad mom don't allow. I don't feel comfortable at all. I am falling sick and now I know why, cause I didn't drink water for 2 days. Seriously?! How ridiculous I could be? If hubby read this, I'm so done. XP

We had our movie session at One Utama at 6pm and aunt mixed up the 635pm movie. We missed the front part, and also, another movie session on tomorrow as well. Hubby said we are watching for revenge. haha! Today we watch Petaling Street Warriors and tomorrow we are going to watch You Are The Apple Of My Eye, this time without him. WHAT?! He already watch this, why want to waste our money? *evil side of hillary appear!*

Since I'm not feeling well, I'm going to bed earlier cause I don't want to make it worst. Hubby went for some activity at the centre part of Taiwan for 2 days, so no Skype or iChat. Chiao~

Movie Marathon

We planned to finish our report on this day. So, all my group members are here and getting ready to die with it. Then all of the sudden when we were having lunch at papa-rich someone suggest that we need to watch Twilight, I told them I already watch the other day, the completed version and it still in my computer. They were suggesting that we might be able to watch it on my tv since it's built in USB. DANG!!! Since then, we've been watching 5 movies straight away. Twilight Breaking Dawn, Paranormal Activities 2, Paranormal Activities Tokyo version, Friends With Benefits, Immortal, and No String Attach. How crazy? How about the report? Well, we only use 15 minutes to arrange the work and split up the task. Seriously, most of the time was watching movies and live stream of some korea event from Singapore. 

Miss my hubby so much and he was having a not so good day because of his headache and some random girl likes his bad-ass wall post for no reason. ahaha. He was so serious about that and it's driving him nuts. Talked to hubby almost everyday, and I feel like it's weird and uncomfortable if I didn't talk to him. He is grumpy little old man, and I love him so much! 

New York. Dream.

I've made a decision. I've been hesitating about the place of my further study. Definitely USA, but which part of it? I've always wanted to study at FIDM, then a friend of mine introduce me to FIT and also Parsons, I never thought of that seriously, but, fashion city is New York, why I never want to look at there? When I was younger, I wanted to live in New York because I watch a christmas movie and I saw snowing over there. I told my mom that I wanted to go there. Now, as a grow older and I'm so scared of cold. I love the weather in Los Angeles. It's comfortable and more okay for me. 

We've been discussing about the issue, and mom ask me to do a proper proposer for her to refer. Today, I was wandering around at the bookstore and looking at the NYC map, suddenly I was like, why would I still thinking about where to go? I can go visit at LA anytime cause someone is there, but not in NYC! I decided to go there. So, I got myself a target. I want to study there and fulfill my dream. The only problem now.... VISA!! Seriously!! I got black listed twice, I want it badly and I hope this time I can get it. 

What about hubby? Seriously, I thought of this and it drive me crazy. This means we are further apart and the timezone is the issue. Two years of study, are we going to figure out? I wonder. I do hope we can work out and be happily ever after. Just go with the flow I guess.

Hectic Schedule.

I'm still having a mid term test going on and also a 3 days flea market things to handle. That's the assignment. It's so busy and driving us crazy. Yesterday, we've spend our whole day on doing photo shooting and pricing all the stuff we going to sell and also design the price tag. Whole day and rush all the stuff out. Now we are still pending with the logo, and poster and we are done! I appreciate all the corporation of the teammates, even though there's fashion week going on and we seriously wanted to attend it, but we sacrifice the time and complete our project. I feel good about being productive. Life is meaningful. 

Later on, I mean after class, I'm going to pick up Johnny's iPhone 4 at the shop. If the class ends early, I'm going to The Curve as well. I want to get some stuff to decorate my room. Some book shelf for my magazines and books, some storage, some frames, some board to stick my photos and frame up pictures, maybe puzzle since mom is not going to shop for painting. I want a New York City night view painting. I wonder where to get it. 

These few days, me and hubby talk lesser and lesser as both of us are busying with our own stuff. Sometimes he is free but I'm the one who's busy all the time. 3 days straight, I didn't text or call him but we only chat less than 2 hours on Skype before sleep and he's  so tired already. I feel so bad to keep him waiting, I thought I can go on December, but I can't. Seriously... I hope we can spend our anniversary and my birthday together. Just a dream. =(